I was thinking about my anxieties again last night. I claim to have no will power, and practically use it as a crutch when I fail- blaming my lack of willpower rather than just saying- okay, one slip up is okay, just get back on track, no big deal…
Maggie said it well- “We base our anxieties and worries on our own histories. Just because something happened yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, and … – does not mean that it has to happen today.”
I keep looking to other people for inspiration because I can’t seem to find my own motivation. You’d think having a co-worker ask if I am pregnant would be enough motivation for me to work toward those Carrie Underwood legs… errr…no. If it was nice out a 5+ mile walk would have helped. I can’t wait for spring. SAD is kicking in. I would love for some advice on how to kick the wintery blues.
Lent starts on Wednesday, February 17. I’m trying to decide what I’ll give up this year. I was thinking I’d give up dining out. This would stop me from buying a coffee a day, and little snacks here and there. Ben and I don’t go out to eat that much, it’s the soy lattes, fruit strips and Chinese take-out that add up. Or I was thinking of giving up meat, but I don’t think Ben would be on board with me, and it’s really hard to cook for two as it is. Maybe I’ll give up dairy. That would be really tough. I love cheese! One year I gave up condiments and “toppings”, that was surprisingly difficult, but very do-able. I love peanut butter and buttered popcorn. What if I gave up a habit, maybe TV or Internet at home? I have a little over a week to decide. I want it to be a big challenge.
Decisions. Decisions.
A faculty member asked me if I was pregnant today.
I think I’ll go throw up now.
Tomorrow was a long ways off…
What’s been going on since my revelation? I’ve been going to the gym, fairly consistently compared to December and I’ve been working hard at getting my legs back in working order so I can start running again. I’ll be one happy camper when I can start running. I REALLY miss it; as does Ole. He’s been destroying a lot of things lately. Little punk. I was at the gym at 5:45 today, did the elliptical machine for 10 minute while I waited for a treadmill. I hate treadmills, but I’m soooo sick of the elliptical machine. 40 minutes walking up hill and I’m feeling good 
I’ve been listening to audiobooks while I work out, it makes the time go by much faster, and it’s the only time I allow myself to listen. The longer I’m working out, the longer I get to listen to my book. I have no shame, I’ve been reading and listening
I had PT yesterday and was told I need new shoes- yeah… I knew that. My ILTB Syndrome is going away, thankfully. However, apparently I supinate to an extreme, also considered underpronating. My physical therapist gave me a bunch of exercises to work on strengthening my hips more, and my stabilizing muscles to try to correct my extreme supination. I feel so much more knowledgable. As soon as my physical therapist clear me, I’m heading to Marathon Sports and I’m getting some new shoes that are cushioned and have a “curved last.” Every Tuesday they have a podiatrist or physiatrist in the store. Lovely
REI has some lovely diagrams and RunnersWorld has a great video supination.
Supination video from Runner’s World.
“I was lucky to have the right heroes. Tell me who your heroes are and I’ll tell you how you’ll turn out to be. The qualities of the one you admire are the traits that you, with a little practice, can make your own,and that, if practiced, will become habit-forming.” – Warren Buffett
I finally came up with a resolution for 2010 – I’m giving up my vices. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop eating french fries or icecream. It means I’m going to stop beating myself up about it (after my bet with Ben). If I generally eat healthy, work out, etc… I can allow myself some treats every once in a while, right?
As noted in my “About Me” section, for the past 7 years, I’ve been obsessed with my weight and appearance. I’ve struggled with an eating disorder, self-loathing behavior, ups and downs with weight gain and overall health, etc. I can say that my negative feelings about myself have ended up making me more unhealthy and unhappy than anything else. It’s time to take a stand against my past. I have to learn to let go of those feelings of inadequacy and shame. Until I can get over how I’ve felt about myself, and how others have made me feel, I’ll never be able to change. I need to let go of all those negative feelings and start looking at myself with a new light. I can do this, I can be healthy, I am athletic, I am capable of doing whatever I want. I am the only one who can promote change and make the choices that will improve my quality of life.
Inspiration has been drawn from a few people- you could say they are my heroines. Their optimism is incredibly motivating.
Caitlin: “Happiness is a choice”
Faith: “Trust in yourself, love yourself for who you are and appreciate at least one little thing you’ve accomplished each day. Nourish yourself in mind, body, and spirit. Live, laugh, learn, and grow!”
Lynn: “Lynn + Laying Off = No You Won’t Gain 170 Pounds Overnight AND You’ll Feel Better The Rest of the Day and Tomorrow AND You’re No Longer Causing Irreparable Damage!”
Jenna: “I don’t believe in diets at all. I just believe in eating healthy meals that make our bodies thrive. If you listen to your body and feed it when its hungry and let it rest when its tired I promise you there would be less weight issues.”
More on this tomorrow…
I’ve been MIA the past two weeks. We have a huge grant due at work on the 19th and it’s really slowing me down. But, in spite of being exhausted, I have been able to manage what would normally turn into a sugar-fest.
The rec was closed last week for annual maintenance. Go figure, right after the new year they close down the rec. I think they do it in hopes that a ton of new years resolutions don’t clog the system. I didn’t mind the week off from my morning routine, I was exhausted last week. Now that the Holiday season is over, I can focus. I struggled a bit between my last post and today. My grandma made a ton of gluten free sweets for me. Ugh. I gained all the weight I’ve lost and hit my 160lb mark. Ugh, again. NO MORE! AS my blog title states, peas pass the beans. I need green food, pronto.
Ben and I have a contest of sorts going on. He wants to lose 34 lbs, and I want to lose 25 lbs. I can’t eat sweets until I read my goal. So, no jelly, syrup, candy, chocolate (NO!) sweeteners in coffee, honey in my tea, etc. I have such an insane sweet tooth, I’ve lost three pounds in a week, since we started this bet. And, when I get down to 135lbs, where I’d love to be, I get to go shopping. And until then, no shopping. That’s terrifying in itself. I love to shop. No, I take that back, I love to buy. Dresses, dresses and more dresses. That’s how I feel. I figure, byt the time I lose the weight I want to lose, I’ll be able to buy a new spring wardrobe. If I do go shopping or eat desert, sweets, etc, He wins his bet and gets his prize. A prize in which I do not want to participate, sorry Ben.
I found my new favorite breakfast, thanks to Jenna at EatLiveRun. Oatmeal. Thankfully, this is allowed on a gluten free diet. So, for the past 5 days I’ve have steel cut oats, almond butter and either raisins, bananas or blueberries for breakfast. Soooo YUMMY! Thanks Jenna. I now understand your cravings for oats. my morning simple isn’t complete without my Mightly Leaf organic breakfast tea and oats.
So, we’ve both been eating really healthy the past week. Yesterday I had my parents and older brother, his wife and son over for dinner. My two younger brothers were supposed to come, but couldn’t come in the end because of work and class. I tried something new, and it turned out marvelously. I wish I had taken pictures. I’ll make it again some time soon I’m sure, and post pictures. With a little help from a couple other recipes I found online (Whole Foods and Simple Gluten Free) , I came up with my own version.
Lemongrass Sea Bass en Papillote
6-6oz. Sea Bass fillets (Halibut, Cod or other white fish would suffice)
Please choose choose certified sustainable fish
15 to 18 spears of Asparagus, cut in 3 inch sections
3 cups fingerling potatoes, sliced in circles, 1/4 inch thick
3 cups leeks, sliced in circles, 1/4 inch thick
2 cups lemongrass, chopped or shredded finely
Extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
Lemon wedges (use lemon left over from desert)
Parchment paper
Preheat oven to 400°F.
Pouch directions and images came from- En Petit Chef
To start, cut as many nice big pieces of parchment paper off your roll as number of fish fillets you’re preparing, somewhere near the 24 x 16″ mark. Fold each sheet in half and cut out a half-heart shape as large as your paper, unfold your hearts and lay them out flat.
Image for Demonstration Only. Taken from En Petit Chef.
Image for Demonstration Only. Taken from En Petit Chef.
Image for Demonstration Only. Taken from En Petit Chef.
Once you reach the bottom of your heart, twist the point and fold it under so that all of your crimping will stay in place. Repeat procedure with the remaining 5 squares and ingredients.
Transfer pouches to a baking sheet, and bake until the fish is cooked through, about 20 minutes. To plate: You can either place sealed pouch on an individual plate. Use scissors to carefully snip an opening on the top, or open the package and slide the meal out onto a plate.
We served this with brown rice and used the remaining lemongrass and some salt and pepper to season the rice. Also, we used the lemon left over from making the zest to drizzle some juice on the fish after we plated it. Some of us wanted more lemon, some did not. So yummy.
(desert was no sugar added and more like a 2nd course fruit, so it wasn’t technically cheating, but borderline cheating)
Ginger Poached Pears
Ingredients
* 1 (750-ml) bottle sweet dessert wine
* 2 cinnamon stick, broken in 1/2
* 1 1/2 tables spoons fresh ginger, peeled, and finely chopped
* 1 lemon, zested
* 1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise
* 3 small, firm, ripe Anjou pears, peeled
* Serving suggestion: vanilla ice cream or gelato, blueberries
Directions
In a saucepan large enough to hold all the pears, combine the wine, cinnamon stick halves, lemon zest and ginger. Scrape in the seeds from the vanilla bean and add the bean and seeds to the saucepan. Bring the mixture to a simmer, stirring occasionally. Add the pears and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, rotating occasionally, until the pears are tender. Remove the pears from the liquid and allow to cool.
Continue to simmer the liquid until it thickens and is reduced by half, about 15 to 20 minutes. Cool to room temperature. Remove the cinnamon stick halves and the vanilla bean and discard.
Place each pear on a small serving plate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and fresh blueberries. Drizzle with the lemon, ginger and cinnamon syrup. Serve
immediately.
